IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Tuesday, February 12, 2008

A SKELETON IN MY CLOSET


I had a comment on my blog yesterday that a reader did not think I had any skeletons in my closet! Well, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I have the wool pulled over your eyes, but since you only know me through this blog-I guess I could have fooled you! I am sure those that do know me would love to line up and clue you in to the "Real Lora". My family would probably like to be at the front of that line! I do not have "A Skeleton" in my closet it is more like an entire cemetery of skeletons in that closet! Where would I even begin and how brave would I be to expose a few of those skeletons?????


I could go back to high school-which is probably the point that I started collecting skeletons-OH BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU ABOUT ANY OF THOSE SKELETONS. My children think I was a perfect teen. Well maybe not perfect, but anytime they started making excuses for their behavior I would tell them-"Remember I've been where you are and I've made up all those lame excuses-A LONG TIME BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN A TWINKLE IN MY EYE-so don't bother telling me a lie." I am not admitting to any of those skeletons, unless you have proof positive of what they are!


I know I have skeletons concerning my behavior with my family. They all know what those skeletons are and you wouldn't really be interested in any family junk. As my dear friend, and favorite therapist, Barbara, says, "At best all families are a mess." I do have a couple of friends that their families appear to be "The Cleavers Reincarnate." When I hear Warren and June stories from them, I just want to throw up and always wonder-WHERE DID I GO WRONG!


I seem to only have a good handful of friends, so I don't dare reveal those skeletons since I might lose the precious few that I do have. Their ignorance is my bliss! Your friends will love you more if they don't discover EVERYTHING about you! Too much information is way too dangerous! I am much easier to love if you don't know quite so much about me.


BC could reveal quite a few skeletons, but this is a two way street. We have mutually agreed to not share that information with others and tolerated the skeletons of the other. Marriage is based upon not just love but lots of tolerance!


SKELETONS- WHAT SKELETONS??????


I went to the massage terrorist today. The leg length discrepancy was 1 1/2 inch. NO WONDER MY LEG WAS IN A WAD! After an hour and a quarter of PURE TORTURE, I am lined back up. For the first time in almost two weeks I could tie my right shoe by pulling my leg up! I think it is all Babs' fault for making me run so fast! I had planned to work out today-but you know what they say about "good intentions"!

2 comments:

Olson Family said...

The first time he felt grass he was a little weirded out and kind of jerked away...we thought it was because Texas grass feels like barbed wire!

Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

I always say to my family "If I ever start to write a book, ya'll better watch out". The stories I have.....ooooooh, I could make millions. I couldn't make this crap up....June and Ward hahahah we are more like Ozzy and Sharon. Gotta keep laughing, when you stop laughing it is all over.

I had this INCREDIBLE massuese (sp) in CA and I used to call her the witch doctor. She worked with potions and trickery and she was
G-O-O-D!