Sunday, October 30, 2011


Dear Hallmark, Lifetime, Love, Etc--Channels---

I am finally at the point in my life where I can watch your networks--channels-ad nausem-and I must admit I am beginning to become a little nauseated.

How many movies can you make about "Happily Ever After"---"The Right Person Always Wins"--"True Love Overcomes All"---etc etc etc? Perhaps I am a little jaded here on Real Life Street---BUT LOVE BITES! THE GOOD GUY DOES NOT ALWAYS WIN! When you are my age----there is NO such thing as Prince Charming---and sometimes---just sometimes---we don't live happily ever after.

I must admit---when I watch a movie---it's all about escape and I don't really want reality---GIVE ME LALA LAND EVERYTIME!

Alright--I'll just change channels when I have had enough of LALA Land---I do now FINALLY have the remote in MY hand!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Dear deux---

Dear deux,

You obviously got my last letter and read most of it---at least down to the part where I said---NEVER MIND-. I know you are busy trying to get all of the world fixed up with the perfect mate---but I have changed my mind about using your services. After speaking with a friend tonight and her relaying the story of after putting in all of her data, you replied---NO MATCHES FOUND---I do not believe I am prepared for that rejection on top of all of the other rejection lately in my life.

I would appreciate you NOT sending me any more pictures of the single men in my area in the age bracket of 30-35. I am not sure WHERE you got the idea--that I might have the slightest interest in this age group! Since both of my sons are older than these men? that you have suggested I might be interested in---this sounds slightly ---well in fact---HIGHLY BIZARRE. It was a dead give away when I saw on line names such a Stud-muffin, Hunk, Sexy, Muscle Man, Sweaty & Flexed, etc etc that I was in the wrong age group.

Thank you from dropping my name from all you blurbs for blogs and NOT considering me as eligible or interested. I will refrain from any more contact-if you refrain from any more contact.

Lonely--BUT NOT--Desperate

Wednesday, October 26, 2011



My sweet friend, Mona suggested I contact you as I was relaying how lonely I am at times. She thought you might be able to find the perfect match of someone to spend some quality time with and enjoy each other's company. S0 perhaps--where I should start is by describing just what I think I am looking for----

TOP number one on the list is someone that loves God---praises Jesus---is not ashamed of the Gospel and strives to know Him better. One who is after the very heart of God.

Someone who is loyal----faithful---would never betray--loving----tender---sweet---who listens like there is no other person in the room and truly cares what is being said. Not necessarily the best looking person I've ever seen---in fact preferably NOT---clean---dresses neatly---no outlandish body art---unless it is well hiden--and smells nice.

Someone who still loves fun---doesn't mind a bike ride, a hike, a walk, a game, kayaking---adventures of all kinds. Loves to play with the children---like a child---doesn't mind a good ride down the hill in the wagon.

Someone who looks for opportunities to be with friends---enjoy laughes---doesn't mind crying occasionally at sad and happy times..

Someone who enjoys the beach, the mountains, the sunrise, the sunset and glories in creation. Someone who will work to conquer their fears for the sake of an adventure. Brave and willing to take a risk for the sake of a laugh or wonder.

Someone who has their eyes open and their ears atuned to the needs around us and strives to help without need for glory.

Someone who doesn't mind a pratical joke and would be willing to participate in playing a joke.

Someone who loves my family----thinks they are wonderful and relishes times with them. Someone who loves my friends--enjoys their company--and looks for opportunities to share times with them.

Someone who enjoys digging in the dirt- admiring the garden---and watching the flora and flauna bloom and blossom as it grows.

A good cook---a good eater---not opposed to a glass of wine---likes to sit on the porch and watch the dusk fade and sit in front of the fire and watch the embers dwindle.

Someone who enjoys reading and might even read what I write and comment

Someone who might reach out and touch just for the sake of connection and just to show their love.

WAIT---I've just described me----NEVER MIND---I'll try to do better at enjoying me---when those lonely times come.

Thank You For Your Time,


Tuesday, October 25, 2011


I know who I am and that's all that I am! (as Popeye would say)

I am a small town girl with a red neck twang and a tendacy to put it out there just as I am. No airs---no pretenses----I was born in a small Southern town----I am from middle class America & really have no desire to be anyone but whom I am. I don't put on airs---I don't forget those that made me whom I am--I don't aspire for bigger, better, richer, more exclusive---I am proud of my roots.

I love those that God has placed in my life---with no reservations----the most important thing in my life is the relationships I have been blessed with---I will be your mother, sister, friend, and "Lulu" to the day I leave you---I will be faithful and NEVER betray you. I will listen to what you say----give advice when asked---and love you without bounds or cause.

These are not bad things---I would like them about someone else---so it must be another good thing about me----maybe?

Monday, October 24, 2011


One of the best things that I can think of that's good about me----I can laugh at myself---

I have done some DOOZIES in my day---

How many of you have walked out the door on your way to work without your skirt on--in my defense---it was a long time ago--when you still wore slips---I had a full time job and a family to raise and care for----that's my story anyway AND then told the story on yourself

How many would chase around after varmints in the middle of the night with a gun they sort of knew how to shoot and tell the story?

How many would shoot a hole in the side of the house, through the wall, through the shower curtain and lodge it in the shower and tell the story?

How many would admit being "mammary gland challenged" and tell the story?

How many would walk around with droopy drawers all day and tell the story?

How many would lock the keys in their car while sweaty and gross at the grocery store and tell the story?

I don't mind laughing at myself and telling the story---so that's one good thing about me...

Of course to some---you never admit these things----and certainly not on the WWW---appearances are most important...

But to me---it's all hilarious when I pull these stunts and I can't wait to share them with you.

Saturday, October 22, 2011


I am weaning myself off my "happy pills". I decided the only thing they really do is dull the pain you need to experience to ever go forward. So I am almost thorough the weaning process, and the pain has returned---intense---real---acutely painful!

The question that I keep asking myself---What is wrong with me?-----am I not pretty enough--smart enough---verbose enough---charming enough----on and on Why am I alone? I have to walk down this dark road---and hopefully walk out on the other side into the sunshine.

I went and voted tonight at the same precinct that I have voted in for 28 years. The ladies know me when I walk in the door--we have established a relationship over the years---I will now be in a new precinct. I cried when I left----so MANY goodbyes.

I started seeing a counselor this week--trying to move forward---since I have not been able to make that move yet. She told me to write down the verses from The Word that pertain to God's love of me and how He feels about me. She told me that I have the head knowledge--it's convincing myself now that it is a heart truth. I have only been able to write one truth down---

"I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel and
afterwards you Will take me into glory."

One of the things I have missed most is the touch---I am praying that God will let me physically know His touch.

Pray for me as I pray for you----He will take us all into glory.

Thursday, October 20, 2011


The weather begins to cool and stay cool and I am reminded of the many stories that Pappaw told us about "hog killing time". The first crisp fall day---with the promise of cool temperatures hanging around all day--was the time to kill the families pork supply for the year.

I have watched a special on television this week about the continued practice of this old tradition in South Louisiana. It was fascinating and perhaps a little gross---you see ALL of the parts of the pig are used---nothing goes to waste. MAJOR GROSS!

All this said---to get to this----the hog had to be fattened up before slaughter time. He received an extra rich diet of corn---and scraps---loads of food. This produced the fat---which in turn produced the lard once the pig was slaughtered. A fat pig was desirable at slaughter time.

Most of us cooks know what makes for the MOST delicious dishes---a good helping of fat/lard/butter....I don't care WHO tells me how delicious their low fat dishes are---they are just storing or trying to deceive their self. THERE IS JUST NOT ANYTHING AS GOOD AS A FAT LADEN DRIPPING IN BUTTER DISH!

Try it for yourself. Boil a little squash in some water and then put a little pepper only (salt is not good for you) and mash it up. Now on the other side---fry 2-3 pieces of bacon and remove the bacon---put your sliced squash and sliced onion in the hot grease with a touch of flour and plenty of salt and pepper and smother until tender. Serve with the diced bacon on top. I'll let you be the judge of which is better & I don't care HOW long I live---I will never prefer or get used to or prefer the other. We've all got to die someday and I am going to have eaten ALL these delicious dishes on the way. I can't imagine living another year and having missed all of these culinary odysseys!


Monday, October 17, 2011


My true colors have shown up this weekend while the kids & grands have been here. All the neighbors thought they had this quiet as a church mouse---little old lady living in the hood. They got a taste of the real me this weekend. Sunday night the Conville clan came for burgers and we had a great time. It digressed to the babies running around in the back yard screaming and laughing with their diapers on--followed by a short streaking pass before said diapers could be changed.

Today, after work, to entertain the little ones---we washed the cars in the front yard and made a red neck swimming hole in the sink in the drive. The neighbors were quite entertained with the two little ones---again with diapers only---squealing and splashing in the front yard.

After 28 years of living in the middle of 5 acres of trees, I might have forgotten how to behave in civilization!

Sunday, October 16, 2011


Everyone that visits comments on my new house. "It looks just like you" "I love your house" "How cute"----but somehow it still didn't feel like home. I have had great fun putting it all together---but at times of great stress I would find myself headed back to Vienna without even thinking.

This weekend I have discovered once again what makes a house a home----crushed cheerios in the rug, spilled milk on the chair, a floor with not one square inch not covered with something, dirty dishes in every room, dirty clothes on every floor, toys in the yard& on the drive & in the garage, unmade beds, shouts of joy, tears of babies, shared meals, shared laughter, the melee of everyone talking, sweet toddler voices, and a baby's babble.

A mess---that's what makes a home---a huge wonderful--fun filled--lovable mess.

Saturday, October 15, 2011


I arrived from work to find #2 & # 3 here with #3 & #4 grands. WHAT A WELCOME SIGHT! Another oasis that God is providing in my trek through the desert.

#3 was thrilled with my 2 latest finds---a tool bench from a resale store and a brand new---working---garbage truck. He has picked up and dumped out garbage all afternoon. We then came in and he tried to drown brother in the tub--immediately after Lulu gave him 2 ice cream sandwiches while his mother was in the other room.

I've paid for that since I am sleeping with him. Finally got up after picking up the paci for the upteenth time that he somehow lets slip off the bed. FUN TIMES!

How I love my chicks!

Thursday, October 13, 2011


Dear Fairy God Mother,

Where is my "Prince Charming"? I've read all of your tales---and it seems that the "Damsel in Distress" is always rescued by "Prince Charming"----the "Knight in Shining Armor". I am in distress---in danger--in peril'--it occurred to me while I was mowing my lawn with my Lora propelled mower that I should not be doing that-Prince should! SO---what's the deal?

LOOK---I need rescuing from mowing the yard, smashing my finger while trying to hammer a nail, putting up a mirror that's too heavy for me to lift, pulling down the attic stairs that will not budge, screwing in screws, keeping my feet warm, taking out the trash---you know the basic day to day "Prince Charming Chores". You've lead me to believe that all damsels should have a "Prince Charming"?

YOU KNOW I MAY SUE YOU! You've made promises that you have not fulfilled! I have no "Prince Charming"----I am a "Damsel in Distress"---I have needs-You have lead me to believe that my "Prince Charming" would fulfill those needs---We have an implied contract---I am suffering from "Alienation of Affection' from my "Promised Prince Charming" and breech of promise of "Living Happily Ever After". YOU CAN EXPECT A LETTER FROM MY

Distressingly Yours,

Damsel In Distress

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I've noticed while looking in the mirror after dressing in some slacks that it looks like a covey of quail flew out of my pants. My butt seems to have disappeared---or fallen---or flattened--or something!!! Looking around as I go and come---I seem to notice the same thing has happened to others----their rears have disappeared too. It's epidemic!!! Where oh where have all the butts gone---LONG TIME PASSING???

Friday, October 7, 2011



Oh---Fellow woman out there in blogging land---HOW I LOVE MY SISTAHS!

I do have one little discussion I would like to have with all of you----as Camille used to say---a "Come to Jesus" meeting.

JUST because my cup does not run over---does NOT mean that I am any less of a woman---AND FEEL YOUR PAIN!

For as long as I can remember---I have not felt like "The Complete Woman"----and ALL to do with the size of my underwear! I somehow managed to feed one of my babies-a la naturel--I've had multiple cysts--drained-removed surgically---basically I've got the equipment---it's just that my machine does not have the sound proofing that yours does.

No---I do not have back problems----and no my shoulders do not hurt---and no I DEFINITELY have not considered reduction to a single letter size---(already there) and no my undergarments do not cost a fortune (they are cheap in the pre-teen department)---and yes I do prefer padding and underwires---and anything else that might help enhance what's there---and no I am not affected by sagging-drooping--or any other such-if I will take the time to do 10 push ups---I am back to where I was at 15.

SO---I LOVE YOU---all my well endowed buddies---but HEY--I'm a sistah too---I just came in a smaller package. SO since this is off my chest-I will pull up my "big girl panties" and go on with life.



This has been a week that I wish I had taken that amnesia drug at the beginning of and it would work for the entire week---basically MOST of the week---I wish I could just forget-FOREVER!

I had my first-EVER-panic attack last night. Now the really strange thing about this happening---was I did not get in any panic over the fact that Philip & I were in charge of the decorating for a dinner for 150 and did not really get started with the ideas or decorating until the very last minute. Philip's wife texts me Tuesday night and asked are you too tired to talk to Philip about the decorating for Thursday evening---I'm getting a little concerned. NOT TO WORRY! Got it handled---well sort of--in my head anyway.

I have a new client, that God so kindly provided, and started working with them this week. They are doing a computer conversion----groan----I just finished another conversion project. Let me just say----the people that sell these to you---are not going to be much help once you have paid them! They had a problem that I tackled Tuesday---not to be beaten or out done-by this problem--I worked on it until midnight---2 days in a row. ANYWAY---

I left this office at 2 on Wednesday afternoon and went to 2 $ stores (find the darnedest things at the $ store)---purchased the basics for decorating---ran by Philip's home--discussed what we were going to do----left work at 4 Thursday afternoon and had the decorating finished by 5:30. NOT TO WORRY SONJA--it all turned out OK!

As the crowd starts arriving, I start feeling a little uncomfortable---the room is soon full of people- some my sweet friends, some acquaintances, and many I do not know. I had to run out the door 30 minutes into the event--didn't get to hear my friend, Sheila speak, my friends, Tami & Christi sing---WHAT A BUMMER. Came home ---went to bed at 6 PM---slept until 9:30 this morning when the phone woke me up.

I've got to go get tested for "Sleeping Sickness"--I'm pretty sure I have it!

Monday, October 3, 2011


REALLY-I even find myself amazing! If I could get my leg that high, I would kick myself in the butt this morning!

The day starts off looking at the clock at 4:30 and thinking I REALLY don't want to get up and run. BUT knowing the Sonja and Sheila----AAAAHHHEEMMM--WHERE WERE YOU?-would be waiting on me, I slipped out of that bed --well fell out of the bed and got ready to go out the door. OBVIOUSLY-Sheila has no problem with early morning guilt complex!

I must say---the run was good --the cool mornings help-BIG TIME! When I got back to the car, I looked in the mirror and wondered "Do I dare run by the grocery looking like this?" Well never one to stand on decorum or looks---off I went. Grocery shopping done, I am packing the trunk with my purchases. I very smartly put my purse down to load the heavy water crate and pushed the trunk latch down when finished. OH NO---my purse is in the truck with the keys- OH WELL--I am sure the front door is unlocked since I unlocked all the car to open the trunk. NO SUCH LUCK---so the keys and my cell phone are in the trunk and the house key I can see is safely locked in the front of the car.

I tuck my tail and head back into the store to beg for a phone. I am thinking who can I call and what must I do to remedy this mess. WELL after a couple of calls, Jim comes to my rescue. It has come to me that I have to drive to one of the schools to get the ONLY other key from Sha--I then must drive to my house to get the spare car key--which thank goodness even after a move I know where it is---I then must go back to the store to get the car. NOW most mornings I would have pulled the garage door down-which would have been another hurdle since Sha's key ONLY opens the kitchen door---but today I felt sorry for my neighbors and my 5 AM noises and did not do. After driving me all over town---Jim has completed his rescue mission. A HUGE THANK YOU TO JIM!

Lesson learned----get more keys made---this morning---DO NOT PUT YOUR PURSE DOWN IN THE TRUNK---even if it is about to strangle you to death. Place keys in safe places in case this type of thing happens again. NOTE HOW SMART I AM---I am not revealing on the WWW where I intend to put keys nor which keys I intend to do that with. PERHAPS---I am not a COMPLETE idiot!

Sunday, October 2, 2011


My doctor told me Friday that I have HIGH blood pressure. We talked it over and I am taking some steps to try and lower it myself-

I've had a boat load of advice so far---my plans were to eliminate some of the pressure raising happenings in my life

Exercise More

Rely Upon God

Here are some of the suggestions I have had--

Loose some weight--HAVE YOU SEEN ME LATELY?????

Tai Chi---very interested---don't know of a local Tai Chi society

Yoga---cannot get my parts to bend in that manner and my head seems to be pointed so I am not able to stand on it

Mediation---I AM REALLY SORRY---BUT I GIGGLE THINKING ABOUT SITTING AND HUMMING ---Just not a lot of serious bones in this old body.

Saturday, October 1, 2011


JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW---if it is 96 degrees outside and you have no shade--and your pumpkins are in the direct sunshine in your flowerbed--they will bake! Take it from the voice of experience.

I cleaned out my storage house today and hung things up high. All it took was a dozen bruises and one smashed fingernail. I am REALLY GOOD!

I planted fall flowers and last night the deer paid a visit. They entirely pulled the plants out of the bed and left them in the front yard. I may need to get the gun out! The doctor told me yesterday that I had the "High Blood"---I'll bet shooting something will help get it down!