IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Friday, February 8, 2008

I'VE BEEN REPLACED!

That day I have long dreaded has finally come-I HAVE BEEN REPLACED! Today on our trip to Austin, I learned that Bobby has a "New Sweetie". SHOCK and on the eve of our Anniversary! Our entire married life my job has been "Navigator". I have become quite proficient at reading maps and giving BC driving directions. I was really confident of my skills and pretty sure that I would have this job forever.

Bobby bought me (????) a GPS for my birthday. We have used "Sweetie" a couple of times, but the trial by fire came today. We drove "through the woods" from Natchitoches to Austin-truly rural Texas! When you fail to see even C stores and you drive through the "Davy Crockett National Forest", you are in the woods! "Sweetie" got us here without a glitch.

My directions usually included something along this line-

"THHHHHHAT WAS OUR TURN!" "YOU NEED TO BE IN THE RIGHT LANE (we are in the inside left lane of 3 lanes) NOW!" This is just an example of my yelled directions as we are hurling down the road at 70 miles per hour.

"Sweetie" on the other hand gives you plenty of warning. "You will turn right in .5 mile" "Take the next right and stay right" She always has a kind voice and never raises her volume. Personally I think they should program them to say,"IDIOT-you missed your turn!" If you miss your turn, "Sweetie" calmly says "Recalculating" "Recalculating". She never gets flustered and never screams.

The danger is you can get lulled into just listening to "Sweetie" and not use your road sense and heed the stop signs, red lights, etc. You tend to just listen to what she says and forget the dangers surrounding you. That could be a very bad thing.

The only time today that I did not feel usurped was when "Sweetie" became confused. We now drive into the area of Austin that Scott lives on a brand new "toll road". "Sweet" is not aware of this road. She was very confused and had us driving through the middle of nowhere and kept trying to straighten us out and get us on the route she knew about. "RECALCULATING RECALCULATING!" was her cry over and over. I got a good chuckle since I knew where we were going and being the good navigator that I am gave BC great directions to complete the trip.

All is well in Austin and since I forgot my camera hook up to the computer, pictures will come after we get home. The Grands are truly grand and we are enjoying being with them.

I am happy to report that we finished our 10 mile run this AM. My leg did fine. I had the calf covered with adhesive analgesic pads to trick the muscle into thinking it was warm. After I got going, it never hurt until I stopped running. We were really slow, but WE FINISHED! The only problem was the cloud of analgesic vapor that trailed behind me as we moved on down the road. All of the dogs and anyone outside must have thought the door to the gym locker room was open. The really good thing is NO RUNNING until Monday! As Camille so aptly would put it-GOOD TIMES!

4 comments:

Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

Good word "usurped"....definately not used enough. Kudos!

Something about being bandaged up with analgesic pads in order to run down the road tells me perhaps you SHOULDN'T be running. Just a thought. Or is that like saying people that wear contacts or glasses should not be reading??? Good or bad analogy, I don't know. Analgesic bandages just sounds so dramatic. Did you know there are a whole list of "gesics" out there, not just anal. There are novo, mono, Q, thera. Holy Schamolies!! I like the anal one the best hehehehe *with my best beavis and butthead laugh*.

the Jennings secede from the South said...

That sweety... you showed her who knows the Austin route, eh?

Deb said...

Are all the GPS deals female? How bizarre is that since men resist doing what they are told by females. I would have thought John Wayne's voice or maybe even Sean Connery would be better. I think I would prefer hearing from Mel Gibson...and I would still call him "sweetie". :-)

Deb said...

I am so impressed you were able to decieve yourself...

I was just trying to figure out how to deceive myself into thinking I hate food... or possibly that I don't need food, or at least as MUCH food.