FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!

Here is a little story I wrote this morning while watching it rain and not running. ENJOY!

NEW AND IMPROVED!

This is it! I have absolutely had it! Time is marching on and the footsteps of the marching band are permanently etched on my face and body. I resolve! I will change! Today is the beginning of the new me! One step at a time with the goal before me! I am in charge and I will take command! YADA YADA YADA!

I woke up this morning and slowly rolled over in bed, since any sudden movement would cause pain to shoot through my body! Like the snakes I have seen slithering across the yard, my legs slowly curl out from under the cover and to the rug beside the bed. I pull my body erect and sit on the side of the bed-careful to not jump up and cause dizziness. As I do every morning, I put my hands on the side of the bed and slowly rise to my full bent over height. A slow shuffle to the bathroom and not daring to turn on any lights this early for fear of the reflection of the stranger in my bathroom, I head for the commode. Oh great-getting down is not so bad, but then the effort to push myself back horizontal causes moaning and groaning! Back to the mirror and still not light-I brush my teeth and wash my face with long slow circular strokes. The slowness is not a reflection of proper hygiene techniques, but of the energy level I have. Rinsing my face and finally gazing at the mirror what I see is my Mother looking back at me. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? That old woman that I held in such disdain for her lack of energy and old lady habits was staring back at me. THAT IS IT! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Today I will start a new life and the former fun loving, full of vigor, peppy girl I was will be reincarnated!

I head to the den and my pot of coffee, after all I need my daily jump start. With pad and pencil in hand, I sit down to sip the coffee and make my plan for the new me. With firm resolve I stare at the pad and ponder over what I can do to make the changes to resurrect the girl I had been.

Well the first thing I could do was lose a few pounds. The weight gain had come slowly and with each successive child born had slowly grown to out of control. The five pounds I had prided myself on playing with before marriage had slowly eased to 25 pounds after three births and more Girl Scout cookies, birthday cakes and gallons of kool aid needed to supply the entire school parties for a year. That was a good place to start-no sweets and lots of fruits and veggies. This was a great idea-low fat-low carb-low calorie diet. GREAT! First I needed to plan my meals for this week. While perusing the cookbooks, it slowly occurred to me-I DON’T LIKE ANY OF THESE DIET FOODS! I like fried foods, starches, and sugar loaded foods. I would starve to death if I tried this drastic diet and what about my husband. The man works hard! I couldn’t possibly deprive him of the only pleasure he has in life. My job was to cook him delicious, though calorie loaded meals. He looked forward to coming home to the aroma of a delicious supper with a decedent dessert to finish off the meal. Why it was easy to see that he was exhausted since he immediately slumped on the couch, turned on the television and promptly went to sleep. The poor man needed my gourmet meals to sustain him after a long day at work. I could never deprive him of this one pleasure.

Well there were other ways to accomplish this quest! Exercise-that was it-I would begin an exercise program! I could join the local gym and start a walking group with my neighbors and even take a late afternoon stroll with hubby when he came home. There were numerous classes offered at every church, gym, Y, and community recreation centers that I could take advantage of. This was the key! I could reclaim that lost youth with a vigorous exercise program. As I sat and thought over where to start, I remembered the warnings I had read about checking with your local doctor before beginning any exercise program! WELL-if these workout programs all had A WARNING-that was a little daunting! I certainly could not risk permanent injury or EVEN DEATH with a little exercise program. And what about my husband-how could I take that evening nap after a huge meal away from him. He needed his rest and to take that from him by insisting upon a stroll was borderline cruel. I had to think about what was best for my husband and losing me to death resulting from exercising-WELL I JUST COULDN’T DO THAT TO THE MAN I LOVE!

Well my list was certainly not growing very fast, and I was beginning to run out of ideas. I could buy some self help books and read about the power of positive thinking. I could watch Dr. Philgood and Dr. OGOSH on television while enjoying my afternoon coke and cookie break. Maybe all I needed was a change in attitude. Let me look at today’s TV Guide-Oh LOOK-Dr. Philgood is having a dyslexic anorexic! Oprah was having a special on how to feel GREAT about your naked body even though you are fat and grossly out of shape. THAT WAS THE KEY! I just need to accept who I am and relish the woman I had become!

Let me get my coke and chocolate chip cookie plate-THIS WAS THE START OF THE NEW ME! I would begin my quest right this moment by taking the remote and flipping to Oprah. Yes Indeed I Would Learn to Love The Woman I AM! SUCCESS!