IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Monday, August 2, 2010

THE GRISWOLD FAMILY ARMADILLO HUNT!

Remember ---I told you I was getting Mr. Dillo figured out? He is coming every other night AND last night was THE NIGHT. I set my alarm for 4:30 since today was running day to give me just enough time to shoot his butt off before leaving to run. At 3:30, I hear that DEVIL. UP AND OUT---with shoes, light, and gun all set to grab and GO.

I go out the front door and see all my barriers wiggling around as he tries to get into the garden. There is no clear shot. I am patient and watch him as he finally emerges and heads down the side bed by my bedroom. I have the rifle-I have the light & I AM READY. WAIT---there is the gas meter right by the bed and he is foraging right by it. I DO HAVE THE GOOD SENSE TO NOT SHOOT TOWARD THE GAS METER AND LINE! I have the light on him and I am following him down the bed. He finally gets in the clear------I am 10-15 feet from him----an easy shot---I raise the rifle to my shoulder and take careful aim--I start to squeeze the trigger AND it won't budge---OH YEAH THE SAFETY---I click off the safety and squeeze the trigger---it goes CLICK----the bullet had JAMMED---******!!!!!*******---------BC comes running out about this time and said "SHOOT HIM---SHOOT HIM------I explain the problem---He SNATCHES the light out of my hand and takes off running after the dillo---he started running as soon as he heard the CLICK---Now I watch BC running down toward the creek--flashlight in hand--38 in the other---and I hear BANG BANG BANG

I go and turn on the lights in the back and yell- DID YOU GET HIM---he replies I don't know.......DUH-----UNLESS THERE ARE 4 FEET IN THE AIR---YOU DIDN'T GET HIM!

We finally get back in the bed around 4. My heart is pumping and my mind is racing about how to solve this problem. I drift off to sleep at 4:45 and the alarm goes off at 5:00. Now in fairness----the Griswolds would have shot the gas line and burned the house down. I did not do that! BUT I AM SO GOING TO GET HIM. New plan---I am off the Wally World to purchase supplies!

BY THE WAY---in honor of "Going Green Month" and posting about my efforts to be green---I will explain what I plan to do with Mr. Dillo when he meets his end. I will recycle him by feeding the buzzards---they are an important part of our environment!

4 comments:

the Jennings secede from the South said...

Ha, that's pretty funny. That Dillo has 9 lives....

Anonymous said...

I have just the weapon for you! Wish I could be a fly on the wall while all of this happens.

Chrome Cowgirl

The Tylers said...

I love that this made me laugh out loud!! Hilarious. **** creature!

Bethany said...

Thanks for making me laugh today, I really needed that. I do love hearing your stories about the Dillo but I do hope you get him.