IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Wednesday, May 21, 2008

SHORT SHORTS

Note Lovely Skin Around Chicken's Head

Once upon a time, LONG LONG AGO, I wore short shorts. I loved short shorts. I have about 4 ft of legs on this 5 ft 6 inch body, so you could say LEGS FOREVER! There was a time that those long-bird legs looked alright, thus the short shorts. Sadly, those days are gone! I am now in a perpetual hunt for Bermuda shorts, carpi's, and HEAVEN HELP ME! long running shorts. It is almost impossible to find running shorts with an inseam more than 2 inches. It seems, in the running world, most of the runners are young and fit and don't have to worry about covering up unsightly dimples or loose skin. My friend, Stephanie, refers to this as "chicken skin". That actually is a really good description. Camille recently sent me a comment that Demi Moore had plastic surgery on her knees. GIVE ME A BREAK! If I have plastic surgery on my legs, they will need to pull up all of the skin from the knee up tight. It would be sort of like pulling on your pantie hose (I KNOW ANOTHER RELIC FROM THE PAST) up, only it would be your skin. Maybe while they are at it, they could also lift my rear end up since it seems to be getting lower and lower. Between my stomach sagging and my rear dropping, my once 4 feet of legs now look like about 3 and a half feet. WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO??????

There We Go Running Down The Road

3 comments:

the Jennings secede from the South said...

Oh, goodness Mom. You look wonderful!

Matthew Stone said...

Try finding anything that fits you when your waist is 44 inches around...and then there is the classic "surely he can fit in an XL". Sorry, I outgrew XL two sizes ago. I am now up to a 3X thank you very much. Oh well, I recommend under armor...

Deb said...

Good grief...I bet you look fine in shorts. I have not been wearing short shorts since 1970! I was born with cellulite.... seriously can't remember not having that. It is a family curse.