Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Yesterday's post drew a couple of comments that I feel like need a response. Friend, David Boersma, sent me an email with a few solutions to the skink's obvious dilemma:NO TAIL. If you don't know David, he has quite the sense of humor. VERY DRY-think of the driest wine (sorry if you don't drink wine-I cannot think of any better comparison) and how when you take that first sip you instantly gasp and your mouth is drawn into a permanent pucker-perfect description of David's humor. Anyway-David was SOOOOO concerned over my lament about the skink's lack of a tail, that he came up with a few solutions:
I call this the:skinkapus. He reminds me of a platterpus. You could sharpen the edges of this tail and it would become a lethal weapon. He could then teach any varmint a lasting lesson that dared to bite that tail.

This is the rotarskink. He reminds me of a skink with a propeller in the rear. He could become a marine skink who can use that tail as a means to propel him in the water. Only trouble is that the stream that flows behind the house is a LONG way down the hill.

This is the hippieskink. Free and easy-just blowing in the wind. This could be very dangerous for Mr. Skink since his lack of conformity and letting his hair down could ultimately lead to the ease of entrapment by the varmints. Sometimes it might be better to just "fit in" with everyone else since when you look so different and stick out-you become the Target (((o))) of the varmints.

Last but certainly most elegant is the Hollywood Skink. Quite the fashion statement, I am sure every skink would love this tail. On the edge of couture and sure to make Ms Skink stand out in the crowd. Sure to lead to all of the other skinks being critical and watching each and every move she makes. The paparazzi will be relentless!
Friend, Sheila, in an effort to be useful suggested getting an electric weedeater. She missed the point. I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER JOB! For once in my life, I can say without guilt-I DO NOT WEEDEAT!
Thanks for all of the help in solving my dilemmas, but I think I will skip the suggestions. I don't need any other jobs and I am NOT ABOUT TO TOUCH that nasty looking skink-unless ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY!


the Jennings secede from the South said...

That is too funny!

Matthew Stone said...

I would love to see some of those "twitching to lure their enemy" after he pops them off...

Deb said... crack me up! I like the little green things better, too. Skinks are just too primitive or something.