I have been reminded this week of an incident that happened during those final weeks of Momma's life. During one of the periods that she was back in the Nursing Home, Pam (her trusted sitter) and I took her to the Parlor for a group from Grace church that were singing hymns. We went and I began to sing with the group the old familiar hymns that I love so dearly. I looked down after a couple of hymns and Momma was silently crying-big tears were flowing down her face. I tried to comfort her, but she was in anguish and inconsolable. Pam & I finally took her back to her room and eventually got her calmed. Where did this come from? What had happened to bring her such agony? I have come to realize that Momma was experiencing grief brought on by her knowledge that her life was drawing to a close and she had regrets. The hymns had reminded her of the infinite love of our God and the life she had lived. In my memory there were only brief periods that Momma attended church and I never remember her pursuing a relationship with Our Father. She told me during the latter years of her confinement to her apartment that she attended church on television. I am grateful to Trinity MC for their broadcast ministry. I know this time must have pricked Momma's heart. My ever faithful Bobby questioned Momma about her assurance of her salvation and she assured him that she had accepted the grace offered by Jesus. I am thankful to God for Bobby's boldness that now gives me the knowledge of Momma's salvation. That day as the hymns were sung Momma was sorrowed to know that she had not pursued that oh so important relationship and knew little of the peace that comes from it. She was saddened to her very core by this regret.
There will come a day when most of us will realize that our life is drawing to the final act. Will we be filled with regret or will we have the knowlege that we have pursued the peace that comes only from The Father? I pray for you all no regrets and only peace, but one thing remains a constant in our life:Jesus provided our atonement and we can rest assured in the promise of eternal life. We are told in the scriptures that there will come a day of accounting and though we are in Heaven-we will still stand before that throne of judgement. Though we will regret our grievous sins, we will stand white as snow since Jesus paid the penalty for our sins. Regret-our regret will be that He had to suffer and die since we are incapable of living a holy life and we all fail Him. I thank God for His Sacrificial Lamb and His great great love for each and every one of us. I pray that my regrets will be few, but have the peace and joy that only His love can bring.