When I went to the dermotologist Tuesday, I questioned her about several "old age" concerns I have. That set me to thinking-AGAIN-about getting something done about looking old, but feeling young. I often entertain having everything nipped, tucked, and sucked back into better shape. I never seem to go there, since I always back out when I hear the amount of "down time".
This did jog my memory of a procedure that Momma had to have. Momma had a condition which causes the wet tissues of your body to dry up (although I personally diagnosed her as having taken WAY too many anti-histamines or decongestants which also dry you up). I digress-anyway her eyelids began to turn in and this caused the eyelashes to scratch her eye. After many-many trips to the eye doctor for him to pull out all of the offending lashes (OUCH!), he finally sent her to a occuo-plastic surgeon (not sure about that spelling). He said the only remedy was to take off the old eyelids and build new ones. This had to be done one at a time, so I took her the first time and Robbie the next. (WHERE WAS NOEL?) The procedure itself involved removing the eyelids and building the new ones from her own body. They took 1/2 of the palette of her mouth each time, part of the inside of her lip, and cartilage from her ear. PAIN PAIN PAIN! I think the worst part for her was the mouth. Think about it-1/2 of the roof of your mouth is a raw, open wound. IT WAS GROSS! Really remarkable though what they can do for people!
This made me wonder why I couldn't perhaps move a few things around. The skin on my rear end is smooth as a baby's bottom and has never seen sunlight-so it is creamy white. I could switch that around and put it on my face. You have heard someone say that their skin was a smooth as a baby's bottom haven't you?
OH BUT WOULD I EVER GET GRIEF FOR THAT!
The skin on my lower legs is still tight and smooth across the muscles. We could get something like a garter that you could continue to roll up and just pull the skin on the top part of my legs to match the bottom.
I literally "ran my butt" off training for this marathon. We could take the poochy stomach and just roll it around to the back and give that butt a little shape.
The skin on the soles of feet and palms of my hands is nice and smooth. We could just reverse that and put the old that is on top on the bottom and vice verse. It would be like turning your sock or glove inside out and wearing it.
I'm just getting started. I think I am on to something here. Now all I need is to find some plastic surgeon to do all of this without one day of down time. HMMMM -that could be a problem!
2 comments:
Pardon my sailor mouth...but the butt skin on the face would give a whole new meaning to "kiss my a$$". I like it!!!!!
I need to make an appointment w/Dr. 90210 myself. I have had 3 kids over 19 years and still wear the same size as when I started but it all shifts. I have been exercising for over 10 years religiously but it doesn't put it back in place. I was on the treadmill the morning I was in labor with the 3rd one. I am learning to embrace the sagging and bagging....as long as you can stuff it in a bra or a girdle and you look good in your clothes no one is the wiser....wink wink
oooh and I have the poochy lower tummy also...3 kids again...no amount of exercise will ever repair that. I only gained 22 lbs during my pregnancy as I did step aerobics, lifted weights etc. but it was all in my tummy. Tummy tuck is the only answer for that one.....I refuse though. Those are my battle scars and I wear them proudly!!!! Lovingly referred to as permanent baby bump.
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