LOUISIANA'S ANSWER TO THE OLYMPICS!!!!!

When speaking of dreams and aspirations, I would love to be a good enough athlete to compete in the Olympics. There is a basic LAZY STREAK that runs smack dab through me-so it will never happen. I have loved watching the Olympics and think it would be so cool to actually be a participant. ALAS-it will never happen-----UNLESS---------------we have a Louisiana style Olympics. I believe this is a great idea. YES YES INDEED- I have actually come up with some of the Louisiana Style Events for this very first LOUISIANA OLYMPICS.

Here are a few:

Mosquito Swatting- a very simple sport-but requiring split second reaction time-
the athletes will be placed around a pond just at dusk, the timed swatting will then begin with the most kills earning GOLD.

Alligator Sprint-my friend, James Fuller, originated this sport. You take a Momma Gator-around 14 or 15 feet long and let her lay her eggs in her nest. The athlete must rob the eggs from the nest before Momma Gator-well you know the rest. The most eggs in the shortest period of time with point deductions for bodily injury will win Gold.

Watermelon Tossing-a carry over from my youth-just as it says-the athlete that tosses the melon the farthest and with additional points for splatter will win Gold.

Pot Hole Jumping-running in the early morning dark was the Mother of invention on this event. The athlete must run a course of pot holes, in the dark, with the fastest time taking Gold.

Snake Scramble-my running buddies created this sport. The fastest reaction time and retreat after a surprise spotting of Jake the Snake means Gold.

Poison Ivy Prance-a finesse sport requiring agility and creativity. Following a HUGE case of poison ivy covering most of your body, the athlete must scratch without seeming to scratch on a hot and humid day during a Church Dinner on the Grounds. Gold for scratching without looking like you are scratching.

Fire Ant Frenzy- stepping into a huge bed of fire ants the competitor that brushes off the most ants in the shortest period of time gets Gold.

Pirgoue Races-taking place in the deep Louisiana swamps, the rowers must maneuver through gator and snake infested waters. Fastest times reap Gold.

Hubcap Hurling-the hurler must first find his hubcap on the side of the road and then the longest hurl. Points for time and length of hurl will produce Gold.

Finally-
Sweat Slinging- you have to be a good sweater and a good slinger to win this event. The athlete with the most sweat slung the longest distance-GOLD.

I think I may have a great idea! I see Gold in my future! What events would you suggest for our very first and uniquely different LOUISIANA OLYMPICS????