IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Friday, August 15, 2008

LOUISIANA'S ANSWER TO THE OLYMPICS!!!!!

When speaking of dreams and aspirations, I would love to be a good enough athlete to compete in the Olympics. There is a basic LAZY STREAK that runs smack dab through me-so it will never happen. I have loved watching the Olympics and think it would be so cool to actually be a participant. ALAS-it will never happen-----UNLESS---------------we have a Louisiana style Olympics. I believe this is a great idea. YES YES INDEED- I have actually come up with some of the Louisiana Style Events for this very first LOUISIANA OLYMPICS.

Here are a few:

Mosquito Swatting- a very simple sport-but requiring split second reaction time-
the athletes will be placed around a pond just at dusk, the timed swatting will then begin with the most kills earning GOLD.

Alligator Sprint-my friend, James Fuller, originated this sport. You take a Momma Gator-around 14 or 15 feet long and let her lay her eggs in her nest. The athlete must rob the eggs from the nest before Momma Gator-well you know the rest. The most eggs in the shortest period of time with point deductions for bodily injury will win Gold.

Watermelon Tossing-a carry over from my youth-just as it says-the athlete that tosses the melon the farthest and with additional points for splatter will win Gold.

Pot Hole Jumping-running in the early morning dark was the Mother of invention on this event. The athlete must run a course of pot holes, in the dark, with the fastest time taking Gold.

Snake Scramble-my running buddies created this sport. The fastest reaction time and retreat after a surprise spotting of Jake the Snake means Gold.

Poison Ivy Prance-a finesse sport requiring agility and creativity. Following a HUGE case of poison ivy covering most of your body, the athlete must scratch without seeming to scratch on a hot and humid day during a Church Dinner on the Grounds. Gold for scratching without looking like you are scratching.

Fire Ant Frenzy- stepping into a huge bed of fire ants the competitor that brushes off the most ants in the shortest period of time gets Gold.

Pirgoue Races-taking place in the deep Louisiana swamps, the rowers must maneuver through gator and snake infested waters. Fastest times reap Gold.

Hubcap Hurling-the hurler must first find his hubcap on the side of the road and then the longest hurl. Points for time and length of hurl will produce Gold.

Finally-
Sweat Slinging- you have to be a good sweater and a good slinger to win this event. The athlete with the most sweat slung the longest distance-GOLD.

I think I may have a great idea! I see Gold in my future! What events would you suggest for our very first and uniquely different LOUISIANA OLYMPICS????

5 comments:

adrian seney said...

I think you pretty much covered it. I think I would take the gold in sweat slinging!

the Jennings secede from the South said...

ewww sweat slinging?
Those are funny Mom.

the Jennings secede from the South said...

ewww sweat slinging?
Those are funny Mom.

Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

LOL, good one.........I think my family lost out on the gold in Mosquito swatting because we are covered head to toe in bites.

I also tried to toss an old watermelon over my fence into my woods from my deck......it his the top of my fence, and OF COURSE, rolled to my side of the yard BREAKING into 5 gazillion pieces on impact. Hubby had fun times cleaning that one up.

Elisha said...

You make LA seem so inviting! :)
Speaking of... the other night when I was running, I had to jump over an upside down possum on Alabama! y-u-c-k!