I had already decided what I was going to post today---UNTIL I read all the comments that have been made following my last post. I seem to have stirred up the hornets' nest. Today's thoughts---I thought all headed in the right direction---will wait--for now some clarification.
I've put myself out on a Public Blog--purposefully---so rant, rave and vent away---decide you don't like me---BUT if I am causing you to think----if I am helping you to release some of your anger---if I am having ANY effect upon your thought process AT ALL---I am glad.
I am NOT lucky---I AM Blessed! I THINK I have a lot of friends--because I have gone to the well worthwhile effort to be a friend. If your friends have deserted you---then ask yourself "Why?". Now don't think for a minute that the relationships have not changed in some way---a single woman is treated differently. I understand that totally---I am not the same person I was a year ago--so I have to figure out who I am and where I fit now.
NO--I don't have financial problems---but you might not realize that I went back to school after my first failed marriage with a 2 1/2 year old son---no support at all--borrowed the money---worked and got an accounting degree. I worked hard to be in the position I am today to be able to support myself. Many of my friends are retired--I am at the age where people do that--but instead I have gone back to work and God willing and if He continues to provide the jobs--will work into my 70's to save money for retirement. I also am careful---very careful--about how I spend money.
I DO NOT hate men----I love them--some of my best friends are men---some of the support I have received has been from men. I still believe -with all of my heart---that I (not speaking for all women) was created to be a man's helpmate. I tried to do just that---be a partner---work together---tried to serve--it just was not what he wanted. I STILL believe that God intends for us to stay in our marriage--NOW I understand there are circumstances where one needs to flee for their own safety and sanity---but Godly men and women are called to put self aside and live together until death parts them. You HAVE to give up your own selfish desires---put the other first--and then work with all your might to have a good marriage. It is a job--a God glorifying job---that will reap you rewards. God hates divorce--for good reason---talk to my children---talk to my extended family---talk to my closest friends--there is VERY good reason to hate divorce.
I am NOT bellyaching---I am putting this out for you to read OR NOT---it is about my journey through my life---I hope it helps others---it is not intended for anything else---except--my personal reflection--and possibly the acknowledgement to some others--they are not alone in their struggle.
I AM Blessed---God loves me---he has faithfully sustained me and I still am looking to Him--even though I do not understand why this all happened. Many have encouraged me to write a book---but I probably will never reveal the entire story---there are others to think about--and there is no purpose to be gained from revealing the entirety.
SO---for now---thank you if you are encouraged and support me---I am sorry--no not really--I am glad if I helped you vent your rage and anger---but read me or not---I'll never know-- One thing I do know---it takes a LOT of energy to become angry ---and voice that---for me to cause you the need to pubically vent that anger---that calls into question---perhaps your need for introspection also. I wish you no ill will---nor am I angry at an annoymous voice---I just wish you peace and joy.
2 comments:
You are right and I apologize, just felt like I had to vent and you were there. It is difficult to imagine that you handle all of this so well (sorry i called it belly aching) and seem to have your wits about you with no emotional or financial help from anybody except a few friends and family. You have given me maybe a new found strength and determination to stand up for myself during this time. It just gets so old, I cannot get comfortable with the limited income I have and unlike you who can do it alone, I must have help. You blog is helpful and I have commented only a couple of times and think I need to seriously rethink my friends and their reaction to me and what I can do to become less bothered about employment and rent and do like you have done. You are quite an inspiration. Thank you for your well wishes and I wish the same for you. Maybe you do have a book in there somewhere. And thanks for not going off on me, because you could have. I will try to keep my commenets controlled and civil.
Not much comment on this post and i am wondering why? Many of us who find ourselves 'abondoned" and don't know quite what to do. How do we make it financially (by the way our biggest fear) and do we develop a new life with a new significant other, (our second biggest fear) and how do we get over the shock of being alone (maybe last of the big three).. So any insight you can give me since I am nervous over my basic way of life. How do you replace that financial security without going crazy with worry. Do you have a secret you can share with us. We, I specifically, would love to know. Thank for being honest and candid.
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