I had already decided what I was going to post today---UNTIL I read all the comments that have been made following my last post. I seem to have stirred up the hornets' nest. Today's thoughts---I thought all headed in the right direction---will wait--for now some clarification.
I've put myself out on a Public Blog--purposefully---so rant, rave and vent away---decide you don't like me---BUT if I am causing you to think----if I am helping you to release some of your anger---if I am having ANY effect upon your thought process AT ALL---I am glad.
I am NOT lucky---I AM Blessed! I THINK I have a lot of friends--because I have gone to the well worthwhile effort to be a friend. If your friends have deserted you---then ask yourself "Why?". Now don't think for a minute that the relationships have not changed in some way---a single woman is treated differently. I understand that totally---I am not the same person I was a year ago--so I have to figure out who I am and where I fit now.
NO--I don't have financial problems---but you might not realize that I went back to school after my first failed marriage with a 2 1/2 year old son---no support at all--borrowed the money---worked and got an accounting degree. I worked hard to be in the position I am today to be able to support myself. Many of my friends are retired--I am at the age where people do that--but instead I have gone back to work and God willing and if He continues to provide the jobs--will work into my 70's to save money for retirement. I also am careful---very careful--about how I spend money.
I DO NOT hate men----I love them--some of my best friends are men---some of the support I have received has been from men. I still believe -with all of my heart---that I (not speaking for all women) was created to be a man's helpmate. I tried to do just that---be a partner---work together---tried to serve--it just was not what he wanted. I STILL believe that God intends for us to stay in our marriage--NOW I understand there are circumstances where one needs to flee for their own safety and sanity---but Godly men and women are called to put self aside and live together until death parts them. You HAVE to give up your own selfish desires---put the other first--and then work with all your might to have a good marriage. It is a job--a God glorifying job---that will reap you rewards. God hates divorce--for good reason---talk to my children---talk to my extended family---talk to my closest friends--there is VERY good reason to hate divorce.
I am NOT bellyaching---I am putting this out for you to read OR NOT---it is about my journey through my life---I hope it helps others---it is not intended for anything else---except--my personal reflection--and possibly the acknowledgement to some others--they are not alone in their struggle.
I AM Blessed---God loves me---he has faithfully sustained me and I still am looking to Him--even though I do not understand why this all happened. Many have encouraged me to write a book---but I probably will never reveal the entire story---there are others to think about--and there is no purpose to be gained from revealing the entirety.
SO---for now---thank you if you are encouraged and support me---I am sorry--no not really--I am glad if I helped you vent your rage and anger---but read me or not---I'll never know-- One thing I do know---it takes a LOT of energy to become angry ---and voice that---for me to cause you the need to pubically vent that anger---that calls into question---perhaps your need for introspection also. I wish you no ill will---nor am I angry at an annoymous voice---I just wish you peace and joy.