Tuesday, March 27, 2012


"Do we develop a new life with a new significant other?"

WELL---this is highly dependent upon -You---who you are---what you are--where you are. I will start out with just telling you where I am:

No--I will be alone for the remainder of my days. To begin with----I am not legally divorced--that is a very personal subject---and if you would like to talk with me face to face about why--I will do that---but I will not post on a public blog Why. Let's just say---God hates divorce--I am convinced of that--he intended and desires for our marriages to stay together--I love God and intend to honor His desires.

IF---I were divorced---I actually consider myself a Biblical Widow--another subject-another day---would I pursue this--No. It's the absolute pits being alone---don't get me wrong--but think about my age--think about the limited pool to choose from and the number of single women. I am sure you are getting the picture and I have very high standards and hope you would also.

FOR YOU---what should you do----well if I were looking here is what I would be thinking about-

They MUST be a man of God---love God first---this is the beginning of a good relationship. You will not be happy and it will be hard--harder than it is normally--to keep your marriage happy and filled with joy. A man of God will look to the Scripture for his guidance---"Love your wife as Jesus loved his bride The Church." Die to self---love you spouse and put them first. That unselfish-giving love that will bind you together. If you both are doing this---then it will work.

They HAVE to be your friend---your best friend---your partner. The physical part of marriage is wonderful---I truly deeply miss being touched---BUT you cannot stay in the bed 24/7--even at 21---SO you better have something to talk about--you better be good friends--you need to want and need that conversation---that begins the day as well as ends it. Friendship---is the beginning of courtship.

How will your ever trust someone again---how will you quench that deep fear of being abandoned--how will you love another without reservation? As I said above----IF they are a man of God---you have started with the basis of trust and understand the deepness of the love that God has for us.

NOW---when you have a significant other--will it be easy--NO--marriage is a job---and you have to work at it and it will be as good as what you put into it. You have to have both of you putting your all into it. Once either of you stops working at it---starts finding fault--does not forgive---it is doomed.

SO--should you have another relationship---I can't answer for you---you have to soul search and figure this out for yourself. DO NOT rush into another relationship---HUGE MISTAKE! Loneliness is tough---but another bad marriage---will be FAR tougher. SO take your time---move slow---what's the hurry?


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Your information and advice is really very good, but it is not helping if I can pay the rent and have enough bucks to live on. What is the practical application of trying to live with no help and no money and no hope of a career like yours. Surely you must have help or you have planned very well. I am envious. Nothing more I want than to jusst live and let live and count my blessings and not need anything from anybody. Can you help with this?

Anonymous said...

Correction: make that "can't pay the rent".