CHILDHOOD MEMORY

The cool weather brings a memory from childhood floating to the top of the memory bank. The bed I slept in as a child was Momma and Daddy's full size bed that I inherited when we moved into our new home on James Avenue. I was slightly on the side of small as a girl and the bed had enough room for four or five of me. My older brother and cousins spent the first few years of my life getting great enjoyment from scaring me at every conceivable opportunity. I learned to hide any fear I might have-never scream and never show the fear in my expression. I became a master at hiding any emotion of fear or terror from my tormentors.

When I went to bed at night and climbed in that big bed in that big room all by myself, the monsters of the night usually showed up. I have vivid memories of the fright and terror that I experienced. Momma was not sympathetic coming from a family of "Don't show your emotions" or "Just conquer your fears", so there was no relief from her room down the hall. For some strange reason, I decided that if I had my head under the cover with just the tip of my nose sticking out and if I laid perfectly still, I was safe. That was probably the reason my hair was standing on end in most of my childhood pictures.

Until this very day, when I am feeling fear or almost any other negative emotion, I lay perfectly still in almost a fetal position in the bed-not moving a muscle all night. I have learned to keep my head out from under the covers, but lying still and compact somehow makes me feel more secure.

When the temperatures begin to turn cool and the sheets are cold when I jump into the bed at night, I make a little nest or cocoon to keep warm. I don't move an inch once I get those sheets warm around me. This brings to mind the memory of long ago and being alone and afraid in that big bed in the dark of the night. I am grateful for a protector to share the bed with and it does not feel quite so big nor do I feel alone when he is there. A wonderful added bonus in the cool of the night is the heat that he generates by just being there. All I have to do is reach over and touch him with my cold hand or foot and I am immediately warmed. Warmth and protection-what a blessing! I just have to carefully slip that frigid foot or hand over there or else get a lecture on wearing my socks to bed. I hate to send shock waves with the cold, but the warmth is like a magnet in the night drawing me to the heat source. IRRESISTIBLE ON A COLD NIGHT!

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The one good thing about this weather is faster runs. I took another minute off of my time for our five miles this morning. If I just shave a few more seconds, I will be running sub 10 minute miles for the entire run. NOT BAD FOR AN OLD LADY!