I had a sweet visit with my MIL today at the NH. She was sad--and so was I.
She told me that she dreams about Pappaw and that she still cannot believe he is gone. She told me she thought she was foolish to feel that way. I do not think she is foolish---after a lifetime of loving someone--when they leave you---it is not real--you cannot accept it. She told me that her life had been always hard. I then reminded her of the sweet parts of her life--the birth of her children--which we talked about for some time---the birth of the grands---and now the birth of the great grands. I reminded her these were all blessings. We smiled and remembered sweet and good times in her life.
I too dream about the partner I once had---my dreams though are usually disturbing and leave me sad and longing. I hope I can get to the point of what I asked her to do---to dwell on the MANY blessings of my life. To think about what a wonderful life I had for most of my years--yes there were some that were hard-but the majority are blessed with raising children---even though at the time it seemed a struggle--I now realize those were the best years. What a blessing my children and grands are!
We cried together for what has been and what will never be again---it was sweet and still painful. She told me she didn't understand and I told her I tried everything I could think of--but life is just hard at times.
I reminded her--that my love for her would never change--no matter what.
This is not what God intended--but it is what it is---I am trying to think about the blessing He has bestowed and try to get past the sorrow. Heaven looks beter and better---