Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Who am I now? How do I monogram my towels and sheets? I know I will always be a James---my birth name---but who am I now. Does the fact that I was married for all those years and my children all have that name mean that I am still my married name? Somehow I feel like I am in limbo land---not quite knowing just who I am. My professional license, my driver's license---the title to my new home--all those important papers have that name on it. It would be a huge task-that I do not currently have the energy for to change all of that---but somehow it does not feel right anymore.

Who am I now? Not a widow---in society's sight--even though the Bible gives the status of widow to me. Not a wife anymore--when one leaves the marriage--the other has been abandoned--there is no other way to look at it. So since we are both alive and well---no one is widowed.

I could go on and on--you get the drift--how do you treat your friends and acquaintances in my place? Who are we?


Judie said...

You are YOU no matter what name you use...have a cousin who "picked" her last name...not a married nor maiden name...just picked one...strange but she is still who she was with the other names. You are Daughter of the Most High God that's who you am!!!!! Use whatever name is "comfortable" to you...just be YOU~~

Peggy said...

You are LORALU --- the same wonderful, funny, sweet, intelligent person you've always been. You are a wonderful mother, grandmother, sibling, and friend to many; but most important, you are a beloved Child of God.

nita liner said...

Having been divorced twice, I've been through this, although each time was a little different for me. The fist time I had minor children, so I kept their Fathers name. My second husband and I didn't have any children together and were only married for 5 years, so I've gone back to my maiden name (which was no piece of cake). Mama was married and divorced twice since Daddy and she uses his name as opposed to her maiden name. I think you should do whatever feels right to you......if anything does at this point......and its nobodys business but yours. You could go with the one that you've used the longest, the one you truly feel you are, or you could flip a coin. Either way you choose, you will still be the wonderful woman I've always known you to be.

clairebear said...

I vote with Peggy, you are YOU. Monogram it all with a big "L" like Laverne De Fazio did back in Milwaukee.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.
We're gonna do it!

Give us any chance, we'll take it.
Give us any rule, we'll break it.
We're gonna make our dreams come true.
Doin' it our way.

Nothin's gonna turn us back now,
Straight ahead and on the track now.
We're gonna make our dreams come true,
Doin' it our way.

There is nothing we won't try,
Never heard the word impossible.
This time there's no stopping us.
We're gonna do it.

On your mark, get set, and go now,
Got a dream and we just know now,
We're gonna make our dream come true.
And we'll do it our way, yes our way.
Make all our dreams come true,
And do it our way, yes our way,
Make all our dreams come true
For me and you.