IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Monday, August 24, 2009

CASH FOR CLUNKERS!

One of my Running Buddies-LOVES to share some choice forwards with me. She obviously gets droves of them and only sends along the best ones. Today's JEWEL begged to be shared. It is so applicable not only because I am aging-but also made me think of running! ENJOY!

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR... If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish, and my paint job is getting a little dull. But that's not the worst of it. My headlights are out of focus, and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or laugh, either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.

POST SCRIPT-

Over the years of running, I have had many a close call while sharing the highway. Today I finished my run alone and came the closest I have EVER come to kissing the fender of an auto. The good thing about running in a group is that we are more visible. I was finishing -just as twilight was appearing. Part of our group are gone, one dropped out sick today and the other two stopped at their cars-a quarter of a mile before my car. As I came to the off ramp for the interstate, I noticed the ramp had the red light, so I had the right of way. The street that they are intersecting is one way-South and I am running North-against the traffic. The black Lexus driven by a blond lady came speeding up the ramp and she looked left-but never even glanced my way. She finally stopped when I let out a yell as I darted over a lane to get out of her way. CLOSE -----VERY CLOSE! SO CLOSE-that I think she might need to get her roots done!




7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dang!!! You be careful....love ya too much to lose you to a crazy dumb blonde!!!!! (Goosie Girl

the Jennings secede from the South said...

MOM! Defensive running, defensive running!

Anonymous said...

I know who that was.

Chrome Cowgirl

gabe said...

you need flashers

Jessica Stephenson said...

Too funny! My mom is here and I shared it with her; we are both laughing.

Jessica Stephenson said...

We were laughing about the first part of the blog by the way. :)

Lorena G. Sims said...

The forward from your friend is so funny..
Be careful out there. I don't want something bad happen to you. I always look forward for your post. You make me laugh!