IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Saturday, January 14, 2012

LAME EXCUSES

I have been challenged---chastised---about my "self absorbed"- "self pitying" posts on facebook and this blog as well. At first---I must admit I was angry---thinking--you don't understand. As always--I then take the time to reflect and analyze---that which has been pointed out. Perhaps she is correct.

I do KNOW that I function much better when I do not have my eyes on my navel. I LOVE being of help to others---I Love Loving my family and friends. I totally "get it" when challenged to focus on others--I made the comment in Small Group this week when asked "What would you like said at your funeral" That I hoped I would be remembered as "She loved well." SO I do understand what is most important in life.

My problem that has caused this "self pity"---"self focus" is our marriage ending after 38 years has caused a HUGE hole in my life. I am THROWING myself into life---working long hard hours---taking on several jobs at a time---trying to help my children and grands---hosting and participating with small group--ministering to the toddlers every Sunday. I am BUSY-BUSY- I still volunteer every other Thursday at Cypress Springs--I am running with my pals---trying to keep my ears open to needs and meeting them. As I said--I am busy!

The problem---is I still come home to an empty house--this is not the way I thought my life would end--I am having to totally rethink who I am and where I am---I am having to figure out what is the new normal. It is NOT easy! BUT I am not shirking from the task--I am trying to face it--and DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING.

With ALL that said--I apologize for my bouts of self absorption--and If I seem to be self pitying--I hate that you got that from my posts. I am blessed and I FULLY know that. A lot of what I post is tongue in cheek--but as I was reminded today --the written word is open to interpretation. SO I will be careful about the words I write from now on and appreciate the one who called me on the carpet-you have made me think.

8 comments:

the Jennings secede from the South said...

I think that you have to decide what the goal of your blog is: to please everyone? (impossible) or to write what you led to share? Take it from someone who has had plenty of negative comments on my blog, you can't make everyone happy?

the Jennings secede from the South said...

what you feel* led to share

Anonymous said...

Listen to Camille.She was taught well by you.

Prayers & Prayers, Mike

Marj Berguson said...

Writing your feelings is healing. No need to apologize. You are so awesome!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog postings and NEVER read them in such a way. So don't feel bad about it at ALL! Your sharing has helped me realize some important things about my own life believe it or not, and I thank you for that. People should not be so quick to judge. I wish you the best as always....
(Your friend from Erie, PA)

lindsey said...

Ditto to all of the above :). I appreciate you sharing your heart, and I feel like it will help me to be more sensitive to people in your shoes in the future...I just never could fathom how hard it must be, but now I feel like I can somewhat see a glimpse of that loss. And, your sense of humor ALWAYS gives me a good chuckle :). Much love and prayers...

Hannah Lee said...

Keeping writing your heart out-- I find it great therapy. I enjoy your blog and your writings!

Michal-Jean said...

I understand your friend's concern, but I personally love how you unabashedly bare your insecurities, fears, hopes, and joys. The main theme of your blog is not so much yourself as it is the questions "why?","who am I?", and "what next?". It reminds me very much of CSLewis's A Grief Observed. I think it brings comfort to everyone else that asks those questions (and we all do eventually) to know they are not alone. (2Cor 1:3-7) You also show what it's like to go through great difficulties and still praise God's name. I don't think you should apologize either.