I am weaning myself off my "happy pills". I decided the only thing they really do is dull the pain you need to experience to ever go forward. So I am almost thorough the weaning process, and the pain has returned---intense---real---acutely painful!
The question that I keep asking myself---What is wrong with me?-----am I not pretty enough--smart enough---verbose enough---charming enough----on and on Why am I alone? I have to walk down this dark road---and hopefully walk out on the other side into the sunshine.
I went and voted tonight at the same precinct that I have voted in for 28 years. The ladies know me when I walk in the door--we have established a relationship over the years---I will now be in a new precinct. I cried when I left----so MANY goodbyes.
I started seeing a counselor this week--trying to move forward---since I have not been able to make that move yet. She told me to write down the verses from The Word that pertain to God's love of me and how He feels about me. She told me that I have the head knowledge--it's convincing myself now that it is a heart truth. I have only been able to write one truth down---
"I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel and
afterwards you Will take me into glory."
One of the things I have missed most is the touch---I am praying that God will let me physically know His touch.
Pray for me as I pray for you----He will take us all into glory.