MY BUTT iS MISSING!

I've noticed while looking in the mirror after dressing in some slacks that it looks like a covey of quail flew out of my pants. My butt seems to have disappeared---or fallen---or flattened--or something!!! Looking around as I go and come---I seem to notice the same thing has happened to others----their rears have disappeared too. It's epidemic!!! Where oh where have all the butts gone---LONG TIME PASSING???