Dear Fairy God Mother,
Where is my "Prince Charming"? I've read all of your tales---and it seems that the "Damsel in Distress" is always rescued by "Prince Charming"----the "Knight in Shining Armor". I am in distress---in danger--in peril'--it occurred to me while I was mowing my lawn with my Lora propelled mower that I should not be doing that-Prince should! SO---what's the deal?
LOOK---I need rescuing from mowing the yard, smashing my finger while trying to hammer a nail, putting up a mirror that's too heavy for me to lift, pulling down the attic stairs that will not budge, screwing in screws, keeping my feet warm, taking out the trash---you know the basic day to day "Prince Charming Chores". You've lead me to believe that all damsels should have a "Prince Charming"?
YOU KNOW I MAY SUE YOU! You've made promises that you have not fulfilled! I have no "Prince Charming"----I am a "Damsel in Distress"---I have needs-You have lead me to believe that my "Prince Charming" would fulfill those needs---We have an implied contract---I am suffering from "Alienation of Affection' from my "Promised Prince Charming" and breech of promise of "Living Happily Ever After". YOU CAN EXPECT A LETTER FROM MY
ATTORNEY!!!
Distressingly Yours,
Damsel In Distress
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