Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I was in QUITE the dilemma yesterday when getting dressed to go to work. It seems I was down to the bottom of the basket when it came to underwear. Laundry has taken a backseat to packing---so this just slipped up on me--plus I have to change clothes almost every day twice after sweating a bucket in this 100 degree weather.

I start digging---NOT wanting to resort to the tactic I have heard many a college student uses--turning it inside out ----JUST YUCK! I finally come up with what Momma would call a pantie girdle---what I would call spandex panties. Momma CERTAINLY NEVER left home without her girdle! I wore this to Camille's wedding in an abundance of caution---not wanting to think about holding my stomach in all night while dancing and celebrating. So I throw them on----well not exactly throw----it's more like stuffing a sausage into its casing. You've got to kind of wiggle into it.

Now the day starts off fine---but as the day progresses---I notice I am feeling bound---more hours and it is more like constricted----by the end of the day--it's like I am being strangled but just lower--I am certainly cutting off important blood flow to all my lower extremities.

I feel the spandex digging into my legs---creeping up where it is most uncomfortable and digging into my gut. Instead of holding my fat in---it has now made an escape and is hanging over the waist. I look like these 50 year old men that run around bragging about wearing the same size trousers they wore in high school and their nine month belly completely hiding the fact that they are now wearing the waist slightly above their crotch. It is LOVELY!

They should really think about using these when trying to get information out of prisoners or terrorists. MUCH MORE effective than water-boarding---a few hours in this baby and they will be spilling their guts!
Enough of all this----I have GOT to go do the laundry!

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