All of you are SO going to miss my dillo war stories! I will complete my move this weekend---and then NO MORE DILLO HUNTING! I will be in the city limits---in the middle of a neighborhood with no woods---thus NO CRITTERS! SORRY--but will try to come up with a new angle to keep you entertained!
Saturday night just before bed time----I'm out on "Dillo Patrol" AGAIN! That varmint has torn up the flower bed and even dug divots in the grass --AGAIN! I've had it! Friend Sheila has loaned me a shot gun--guaranteed to "Get em". SO---I head down the LONG drive with my flashlight, shotgun, and extra shell. NOW in case you have never dealt with a shotgun (like I had not) THEY ARE HEAVY! So I am headed down the drive with the shell in the barrel and flashlight in hand. NOW for all of you novices (I am SO experienced!) shotguns shoot one shell at a time, unless they are double barreled---so you better aim good and reload quick!
As I ease down the drive, with my wonderful flashlight giving about a 2" circumference circle of light in front of me, I hear rustling in the leaves. If you live in the woods, you have a thick layer of leaves and pine straw all around. I ease off into the woods in pursuit. Once again--I brilliantly have on flip flops---snakes come out at night---live in the woods---I am BRILLIANT! NOW the dillos are almost blind---but certainly not deaf. He hears me coming and takes off! I am running behind him holding all my STUFF and trying to point my two inches of light not only where I am running, but also trying to find the dillo. Somehow in my excitement, I flip the lever that opens the barrel of the shotgun and the shell flies out. DRAT!!!!!
I still have one shell left, so I reload and take my fingers OFF that lever. He finally stops, I ease up on him and squeeze the trigger. NOTHING DOUBLE DRAT!!!!
He takes off again & I am in hot pursuit as the limbs from the trees slap me in the face--since I can only see the 2" circumference where I am pointing the light. He finally stops again in a thicket and I point the gun once again and try to shoot--NOTHING! DRAT DRAT DRAT---I look there is no safety on this thing. What am I doing wrong???
OH YEAH---you have to cock the trigger!!!! So I cock it---he starts walking toward me and is 3 feet from me---I squeeze the trigger---BOOM! Sheila was wrong it DOES have a kick! The dillo does NO acrobatics---I GOT HIM!!! Straight on!
YOUR WELCOME, BESS!!! My final gift to you---there has not been another one around since!