IT'S NOT EASY BEING A SOUTHERN BELLE-EVEN AFTER YEARS OF PRACTICE!













Friday, December 10, 2010

MY ANNUAL CHRISTMAS LETTER

It's that time of the year when I have begun to receive those annual Christmas letters from friends and even casual acquintances from across the states. It's always heart warming to hear how well everyone is doing----how many awards, how much money, what perfect health--and in a nutshell how Blissful their lives are. I have decided to post my letter on this blog. This will be Volume One of a LONG DISMAL recital of what this year has held-----Stay Tuned perhaps I will bore you with the ENTIRE recount.

Seasons' Greetings!

It has been SUCH JOY to receive your long recounts of the wonderful year you and yours have enjoyed. It is really quite humbling to know idyllic perfection in the lives of you and all your loved ones

In reflection, I find my life slightly off a bubble from "Idyllic Perfection". In fact the bubble is so far from the center, that it has slipped over the edge--as I occasionally have during this fine year.

I have always enjoyed gardening and I began this year of growth with the optimism of "Hope Springing Eternal". The first planting was taken by a late Spring chill--to be exact a HARD FREEZE. Oh well---not to be dismayed--I ripped those wilted and browned plants out of the rich Louisiana soil and began again. After countless trips to countless nurseries fanned out across north Louisiana, I had the perfect mix in the ground all planted with great care and love. A VERY wet Spring found this mixture of flauna and flora floating to the top of the soil and all lying about exposed to the enemies of gardeners everywhere. The third and final planting should be the crowning jewel. With the few tender young plants that could still be found in picked over nurseries within 5 miles proved to be the final planting. The HOT AND LONG DROUGHT then set in. The plants remainded the same size all summer -even with a sprinkler system going off twice a night EVERY night and waking me from the light dusting of sleep that I enjoy. The fall comes and the perfect conditons finally arrive. The plants TAKE OFF and I find that they are so thick that the Amazon Jungle would not compare. After my SECOND thinning---I seem to have it under control. The first freeze of the Fall comes the next week and the plants all remain in wilted - brown gnarled piles as I write.

Speaking of sleep, my sleep or lack thereof has reached new lows. I am okay though as long as I get at least 2 good hours of sleep every night. The positive thing about no sleep during the night is all the hours of prayer time this has opened up. The one negative is trying to match my make up to the black shade now under my eyes.

My on-going battle with all the creatures of the forest has lead to a HUGE dimishment of the armadillo and squirrel population here in Vienna. Unforunately, this has lead to the discovery of the vacuum effect of trapping and releasing animals. The more you take off the more the vacuum sucks in. I have bought stock in the Smith & Wesson company since my armaments have tripled during armadillo season.

On a bright note, I have had my two youngest grandbabies with me for two months. Every moment has been pure joy---well except for those moments that we were changing diapers, wiping up human fluids, washing their clothes and cleaning up their messes. That would be about 5 minutes of every day that has been free to soak up the joy.

My exercise has taken an entirely new direction--that direction would be NOT exercising. One positive note is that my hips and knees do not hurt all of the time now, but I also lack the strength to get myself out of bed without a push from behind. I am glad to report that I am no longer the rear end inspector for our running group --some other turtle will have to fill that roll.

Well I find I am at the end of my paper----AND I HAVEN'T EVEN APPROACHED the long saga of my loved ones. That will have to come in Volume Two.

Merry Christmas--indeed---all of you Garden of Eden Dwellers. As for the rest of us---you will find us in the Desert of Reality!

Lora



4 comments:

Ann Miller said...

glad to know things are well in vienna!! merry christmas!

Faye Kavanaugh said...

Lora,
I must finally confess that I follow your blog on a regular basis, and do thoroughly enjoy it although I never post a comment.
At last, I had to respond: Today's blog has by far been the most entertaining ever! It took me quite a while to read it as I was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face. Thanks for the entertainment. You definitely have a way with words! Merry Christmas to one of my most favorite families.

Gabe said...

It'll be an Austin Xmas soon enough!

Deb said...

Perfect....LOL....the mere mention of bodily fluids always add much to any post concerning reality!