AN OASIS---AGAIN!

God continues to amaze me by providing oasis after oasis in this desert time of life. I have a bad couple of days---a difficult period----and again He reminds me of His faithfulness and provision. I will not give you the details---only that tonight my sweet small group surprised me with a "House Warming" party. When the bottom seems near and I am pleading for direction and help---He has faithfully been my provision. WHAT A GOD!

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL-----

Good (?) friend, Sonja pointed out to me AFTER I had bought my new house, that the ALL glass shower was right in front of a wall full of mirrors. GEE---THANKS, SONJA! I am really not very observant about things such as this and may have never noticed---EXCEPT--she felt the compulsion to point this out to me!!!

I have tried various tacts to avoid the OBVIOUS---since NOW I know the sight that is to behold. It really does not work very well to shower in the dark--especially with a razor in my hand. Not looking is like telling a 5 year old to not peep at the surprise in the back yard---except the surprise is in a slightly worn and wrinkled package now.

I think I may have come up with the solution---turn the hot water on---allow the shower to steam up---jump in with your back to the mirror---enjoy your steam filled shower---towel off and wrap towel around slightly damaged package BEFORE wiping the steam off the glass. It's working QUITE well ---THANK YOU!

I have also drawn the line at doing some new work out video that Sonja has--something called "Suicide" or something like that--in Jennifer's music room which is filled with mirrors. She would figure out for sure just how much I cheat--if our image is being reflected back at us like a horror movie from late night TV. WHO IN THE WORLD fills a room with mirrors!!!!

THE ANTIDOTE MAY KILL ME!!

I have often heard that the antidote for a poison could be as treacherous as the poison itself, but I believe I am now truly experiencing this very phenomena!

After an emotionally and physically exhausting week-beginning last Friday with a drive to Fort Worth and back, I have spent the week in a whirlwind. I LOVED having my children and grands with me, but it also reminds me of how truly alone I am when the house is empty again. My solution to aloneness and loneliness has taken the turn toward busyness. I must admit-I might be a slightly driven person to begin with, but that drive goes into overdrive when I am alone.

I find myself volunteering for any and all projects that may come across my path. Want your kitchen painted--I'm your woman--need a babysitter-just give me a call--want a meal cooked for 20--sure-I have nothing else to do. Just a small example of the things I end up doing.

The kids left Thursday AM and went into pick it all up mode before leaving for work. I left work and ran by the grocery store I cooked chili for the work crew of 20 Thursday night and early Friday AM and put together all the fixings to boot. I volunteered to help a co-worker who is great with child at 4 PM yesterday with an accounting problem and ended up working until 6. I flew home and unloaded all the dirty dishes, changed clothes and took off to Arcadia to help paint my sweet niece's kitchen. At after 10:30, I all of a sudden felt a drop in energy and loaded myself in my car for the drive back home. Upon walking into my quiet home, I noticed the counter full of dirty chili dishes---SOOOOO------

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH ME??????--I can't seem to sit still and even read a book anymore----more later--I need to go clean house and paint picture frames and hang pictures and weed the flower bed-----

BUT WHHHHHYYYYYY????????????

I had a little conversation with one of my main squeezes the other night--you know a little pillow talk. It went like this---

LL---Henry, it's time to go night night.
H--(side note-picture both arms at right angles from the body with palm up and a questioning look on the face and tone in the voice each time) BUT WHY?
LL--It's dark outside and time to sleep.
H--BUT WHY?
LL--It's night time and it gets dark at night time.
H--BUT WHY?
LL--God wants us to rest our bodies, so when he makes it dark it is time to sleep.
H--BUT WHY?
LL--We want to be rested tomorrow so we can play and have a good time.
H--BUT WHY?
LL--Our bodies need sleep just like they need food so we can run and jump and play outside.
H--BUT WHY?
LL-Henry, it's time to go to sleep--close your eyes!
H--BUT WHY?
LL--Henry, I know you want to stay up and talk-but close your eyes and your mouth and lay down!
H--BUT WHY?
LL--HENRY--THIS IS NOT WORKING- YOU NEED TO GO TO SLEEP!
H--BUT WHY?
LL--DO NOT ask why again--GO TO SLEEP!

We had this conversation EVERY night. What is really bad is when I start laughing--which means we have to start it all over again. THE LITTLE STINKER! He is playing me like a cheap fiddle!

I am sitting here thinking this morning how many times lately I have looked at God with the same expression and asked BUT WHY??? I forget that just like Henry's earthly parents know what is best for him---so my Heavenly Father also knows what is best for me---even when I would prefer something else----He knows what I need and sees what is coming---I need to just rest in Him.

A NEW MAN IN MY BED!

I had forgotten how wonderful it was to sleep with a good looking man by my side after almost six months of sleeping alone. The past five nights have been such a sweet time of sharing a bed again. Cuddling, pillow talk, and just the warmth of a body next to mine have been pure joy.

From the last moment before you fade away to the second your mind becomes conscious of an awakening world, there was someone next to me. The middle of the night rousing were spent covering and touching and comforting and being comforted by that slow rhythm of anther's nighttime breathing.

To have someone say, "I love you" as the day fades to night and awaken you with "Hi, Lulu"--it has all been sheer bliss. I will miss my sweet Henry when he heads back to Fort Worth today. He has been a wonderful bed partner.

BULLS EYE!!!

I have begun to believe that I may have a bulls eye painted on my head! Seriously----think about what all has gone on in my life during the past few months!!!! If we grow from adversity, I believe I am 6'6" and weigh 350!

It is all SO surreal that I don't think I can even get it down on paper! It would certainly be a best selling book---but WHO would believe it----I call it "Bizarre World"!

You ask what is the latest---well let me tell you----Minutes before Pappaw Conville passed away ----Gabe found out that son Scott's home was in the path of the wildfires in Austin. They live in the lakeside community just below Steiner Ranch. There is one way in and out of Steiner Ranch and to their house and there are thousands of people and homes back in this area. The entire area was evacuated due to the danger Sunday night.

As we pulled away from the Nursing Home that night---I looked up and said "SERIOUSLY, GOD? SERIOUSLY!" I could not believe this was happening! If this is the refiners fire, I could stand a cool off!

They were allowed home today after 2 full days in a 1 queen bed hotel room---3 adults, 2 children, 2 dogs & 1 cat. NOW THAT sounds like FUN!!!!

I don't DARE ask what's next---it's like drawing attention to me being down here. JUST IN CASE you are wondering God----I could stand a break. If we are put through trials because of His desire for us to grow in Him---I am blessed------But GOD---there are others who need blessing too!

I JUST SAW JESUS!

I am so exhausted---I am in a heap---but I have to tell this story. ALL TRUE--the entire tale will take at least a couple of chapters in the book I will never get written, but here it is:

My father in law and the grandfather and great grandfather of my children and greats left us today. It has been a very brief-but powerful ending after 90 years to one who definitely fought the good fight. I will be honest with you, Pappaw was never my favorite---but Nannie was instead--BUT I never questioned his faith or where he stood--he quite frequently let me know in no uncertain terms.

Pappaw has been progressively declining for about 2 years, and I have spent MANY an hour with him during his decline. I have heard his stories SO MANY times that I can repeat them verbatim myself. He was quite the man---but above all he was a man of God and NOONE ever questioned that about him. God is smiling at him at this very moment because there was never a question and he boldly proclaimed where he stood with the gospel story.

I can best explain the depth of my respect for he and Nannie by telling you this. I left Friday AM after determining that he was no worse and headed for Fort Worth to be with the kids and grands. I did not plan to leave if the prognosis was bad, but all seemed stable. After driving for 4 hours, I got a text from my SIL that they did not expect him to live more than 24 more hours. I drove on to Fort Worth while trying to decide what to do. I went in Camille's house and ate a PB sandwich and drank some water. I then told her I had to go back after a 20 minute visit and started the 4 1/2 hour drive back. By the time I arrived home--I could have given the traffic report for I-20 east bound or west. I KNEW I had to be with them.

The next 2 days are a blur of singing hymns, reading scripture, telling Pappaw stories and generally just being by the side of two very influential and loved people in my life. It was a sweet time that I am SO glad I was able to participate in.

Today came the final chapter. Pappaw's breathing became more laborious and it was evident the time was drawing near. It was quiet and peaceful, but you never know the exact moment on these occasions. When it was evident that we were near the end, I came home to stay with Camille's children so she could tell her grandfather goodbye. Gabe was in attendance and not leaving the room.

After Camille came home and I sped back to be with them all, Pappaw spotted Jesus and left us all before I could get back. His wife of 69 years, his two daughters and grandson,my son were in the room with him. He had spent the past 2 days starring into space with no evidence of any recognition and laboriously working to breathe. They reported that all of a sudden his eyes once again opened wide and he had a smile on his face from ear to ear and then he was gone.

HE HAD SEEN JESUS AND WENT TO BE WITH HIM! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow! "Well done, good and faithful servant!" I'll miss you, Pappaw!