FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!

Here is a little story I wrote this morning while watching it rain and not running. ENJOY!

NEW AND IMPROVED!

This is it! I have absolutely had it! Time is marching on and the footsteps of the marching band are permanently etched on my face and body. I resolve! I will change! Today is the beginning of the new me! One step at a time with the goal before me! I am in charge and I will take command! YADA YADA YADA!

I woke up this morning and slowly rolled over in bed, since any sudden movement would cause pain to shoot through my body! Like the snakes I have seen slithering across the yard, my legs slowly curl out from under the cover and to the rug beside the bed. I pull my body erect and sit on the side of the bed-careful to not jump up and cause dizziness. As I do every morning, I put my hands on the side of the bed and slowly rise to my full bent over height. A slow shuffle to the bathroom and not daring to turn on any lights this early for fear of the reflection of the stranger in my bathroom, I head for the commode. Oh great-getting down is not so bad, but then the effort to push myself back horizontal causes moaning and groaning! Back to the mirror and still not light-I brush my teeth and wash my face with long slow circular strokes. The slowness is not a reflection of proper hygiene techniques, but of the energy level I have. Rinsing my face and finally gazing at the mirror what I see is my Mother looking back at me. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? That old woman that I held in such disdain for her lack of energy and old lady habits was staring back at me. THAT IS IT! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Today I will start a new life and the former fun loving, full of vigor, peppy girl I was will be reincarnated!

I head to the den and my pot of coffee, after all I need my daily jump start. With pad and pencil in hand, I sit down to sip the coffee and make my plan for the new me. With firm resolve I stare at the pad and ponder over what I can do to make the changes to resurrect the girl I had been.

Well the first thing I could do was lose a few pounds. The weight gain had come slowly and with each successive child born had slowly grown to out of control. The five pounds I had prided myself on playing with before marriage had slowly eased to 25 pounds after three births and more Girl Scout cookies, birthday cakes and gallons of kool aid needed to supply the entire school parties for a year. That was a good place to start-no sweets and lots of fruits and veggies. This was a great idea-low fat-low carb-low calorie diet. GREAT! First I needed to plan my meals for this week. While perusing the cookbooks, it slowly occurred to me-I DON’T LIKE ANY OF THESE DIET FOODS! I like fried foods, starches, and sugar loaded foods. I would starve to death if I tried this drastic diet and what about my husband. The man works hard! I couldn’t possibly deprive him of the only pleasure he has in life. My job was to cook him delicious, though calorie loaded meals. He looked forward to coming home to the aroma of a delicious supper with a decedent dessert to finish off the meal. Why it was easy to see that he was exhausted since he immediately slumped on the couch, turned on the television and promptly went to sleep. The poor man needed my gourmet meals to sustain him after a long day at work. I could never deprive him of this one pleasure.

Well there were other ways to accomplish this quest! Exercise-that was it-I would begin an exercise program! I could join the local gym and start a walking group with my neighbors and even take a late afternoon stroll with hubby when he came home. There were numerous classes offered at every church, gym, Y, and community recreation centers that I could take advantage of. This was the key! I could reclaim that lost youth with a vigorous exercise program. As I sat and thought over where to start, I remembered the warnings I had read about checking with your local doctor before beginning any exercise program! WELL-if these workout programs all had A WARNING-that was a little daunting! I certainly could not risk permanent injury or EVEN DEATH with a little exercise program. And what about my husband-how could I take that evening nap after a huge meal away from him. He needed his rest and to take that from him by insisting upon a stroll was borderline cruel. I had to think about what was best for my husband and losing me to death resulting from exercising-WELL I JUST COULDN’T DO THAT TO THE MAN I LOVE!

Well my list was certainly not growing very fast, and I was beginning to run out of ideas. I could buy some self help books and read about the power of positive thinking. I could watch Dr. Philgood and Dr. OGOSH on television while enjoying my afternoon coke and cookie break. Maybe all I needed was a change in attitude. Let me look at today’s TV Guide-Oh LOOK-Dr. Philgood is having a dyslexic anorexic! Oprah was having a special on how to feel GREAT about your naked body even though you are fat and grossly out of shape. THAT WAS THE KEY! I just need to accept who I am and relish the woman I had become!

Let me get my coke and chocolate chip cookie plate-THIS WAS THE START OF THE NEW ME! I would begin my quest right this moment by taking the remote and flipping to Oprah. Yes Indeed I Would Learn to Love The Woman I AM! SUCCESS!

HELP, I'M DROWNING!

I started having sinus problems again today. I think it has been coming on all week, but today I began feeling a little under the weather. It seems this is inherant with living in Louisiana. Almost everyone I have talked with this week seems to be having similiar problems. When it is freezing at 6 AM and in the upper 60s a few hours later, this begins the problem. Then today it is in the upper 60's and the humidity is 80%-you can feel the moisture in the air. Then comes the sinus problems.

I had a comment on a previous blog and a couple of friends have talked about a "Netti Pot". Friend Ginny told me today that Dr. Og on Oprah was also singing the pot praises. I decided while at the "Natural Food" store to get one and give it a try. What did I have to lose?

When I read the outside of the box and the blurb talked about using the "Pot" to cleanse your sinus and prepare you for Yoga, I should have known trouble was just around the corner. I have a "hate-hate" relationship with yoga and after my third attempt at trying to learn to like it-I have once again given up.

The instructions are simple enough-mix one teaspoon of salt in 1 cup of warm water and pour it into the pot. OK-I had no problem with that. Then you tilt your head to the side-put the spout up to your nose and allow it to pour in and out of your nostril while breathing through your mouth. The woman on the box has a smile on her face while doing this. How hard could it be?

When I put the spout up to my nostril, I did not take into account the small size of my nostrils. It is truly amazing how small my nostrils are considering the size of my big nose. I have always had to breath through my mouth while running since I could not get enough air in through my nose. There should be enough room for the spout to pour the salt water into your nose and it to flow back out. RIGHT! When I put the spout up to my nose, it created a seal and the salt water poured down the back of my throat causing me to gag and choke. I thought I was going to drown. I immediately pulled the pot away and began sputtering and spewing salt water. OK-try again. This time I had better luck, but the salt water burns to high heaven. I finally managed to get the knack-at least I could do it without it pouring down my throat and spitting salt water like a fountain.

I must admit that for a while I was able to breath better than I have in years. Perhaps I will try again, but first I must forget today's experience. I am not big into afflicting pain to myself and this was definitely painful! The woman on the box with the big smile on her face was obviously holding an empty pot to her nose since there was no salt water pouring out of her nose and down her face unto her shirt.

When looking for a picture of a netti pot on the internet, I found several Youtube sights of people showing you how to do it. I don't think I really have the procedure correct, but if you want a good laugh, go to YouTube and look at the videoes. I am crazy, but you will not see me on the World Wide Web washing my nose out!

MY VALENTINE!

I am not sure what I ever did to deserve My Valentine! He is quite the man! When I stop and reflect on all of these Valentine Day celebrations we have had, I count my "Lucky Stars". Mr. C is definitely the "Romantic" in our family. I am more of a "Closet Romantic", since I come from a long line of "Don't show your emotions in public" genes. You could probably say that I am emotionally retarded. Mr. C now-what he is thinking and what he is feeling is right out front for all the world to know. You know exactly where you stand with the man because he is going to tell you just what is on his mind. That is a very good thing! No guessing-no second guessing-he just lays it out and you then deal with it.

Bobby is a very kind and thoughtful man with a definite soft side. He can play hard ball with the best of them, but when it comes to those that he loves-there is never a doubt about how he feels about you. He is openly affectionate and a hugger and kisser of all those he loves. The man can be a "Helpless Romantic" and that is a great thing!

When I think back to our early years, I am not sure why he married me. I definitely came into our marriage with a trailer load of baggage. What attracted him-I am not sure. Bobby was "The Perfect" son and brother in his family who never did any wrong. I was the middle child with an emotionally absent Mother who never approved of anything I did. How in the world did the two of us ever get together?

In my old age and great wisdom, I now realize it was all within the providence of God. He directed our courtship, our marriage, and our lives together. When I think of all the wars that we have had and the great difference in our personalities, I know who knit us together and kept us together. Bobby is a Godly man, who seeks Godly wisdom and does his best to follow the example we have been given to live by. I am sure we would have never survived all these years without that influence in our lives. We are blessed and I am grateful!

Everyday is Valentine's Day when you are married to a man like Bobby. He strives each and every day to serve me and affirm me. His love is a constant reassuring presence in my life. I am complete and at my best when I am with him and I treasure the hours and minutes we are together. There is no one else that I had rather be with and spend time with. I stand amazed that anyone could love me even knowing all about me-but not only does he love me-but he loves me well. Thank you, God, for the blessing of "My Valentine".

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

I SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH!

OK- I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help me God! I HAVE NOT TAKEN HGH OR ANY OTHER PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS! NO DUH!!!!
No one is questioning whether or not I have taken any HGH. Congress has not called and wanted a hearing to determine if I am telling the truth about not taking these drugs. I'M INSULTED! Oh, Wait-I am the one at the back of the pack-so I guess that makes everyone think I couldn't possibly have done anything to enhance my performance. The Turtles in the world are never suspect-in fact we are pretty much ignored. When you finally cross the finish line at the marathon and the food is beginning to run out and they are not making pictures anymore, what does that tell you. We are the "Oh Yeah" group or the "And Alsoes". That's OK-I am just proud to get there! Now if somebody offers me a drug to block the pain when I am huffing and puffing while chasing Babs down the road-well I just might think about that!

I had the television on Fox News this AM while the Roger Clemons Hearing was going on in Congress. SOMEBODY IS TELLING A BIG WHOPPER!!!!! Somebody might be related to "Slick Willy" (you know-Bill). When you can lie with the conviction that you are not lying and the world is falsly persecuting you-could that be what the professionals call a "Pathological Liar"? We-the outside World-we are all wrong and how dare we question their wonderful integrity. As for me and the professional baseball controversary-I DO NOT CARE! I don't watch baseball-never had-never will. But if you believe that all these athletes are achieving these great feats on their natural abilities-well you have your head in the sand!

Good 5 miler this AM in the COLD! Leg did not hurt-HURRAY! It is a little stiff this afternoon, but Babs was once again making me push way beyond my comfort zone!

A SKELETON IN MY CLOSET

I had a comment on my blog yesterday that a reader did not think I had any skeletons in my closet! Well, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I have the wool pulled over your eyes, but since you only know me through this blog-I guess I could have fooled you! I am sure those that do know me would love to line up and clue you in to the "Real Lora". My family would probably like to be at the front of that line! I do not have "A Skeleton" in my closet it is more like an entire cemetery of skeletons in that closet! Where would I even begin and how brave would I be to expose a few of those skeletons?????

I could go back to high school-which is probably the point that I started collecting skeletons-OH BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU ABOUT ANY OF THOSE SKELETONS. My children think I was a perfect teen. Well maybe not perfect, but anytime they started making excuses for their behavior I would tell them-"Remember I've been where you are and I've made up all those lame excuses-A LONG TIME BEFORE YOU WERE EVEN A TWINKLE IN MY EYE-so don't bother telling me a lie." I am not admitting to any of those skeletons, unless you have proof positive of what they are!

I know I have skeletons concerning my behavior with my family. They all know what those skeletons are and you wouldn't really be interested in any family junk. As my dear friend, and favorite therapist, Barbara, says, "At best all families are a mess." I do have a couple of friends that their families appear to be "The Cleavers Reincarnate." When I hear Warren and June stories from them, I just want to throw up and always wonder-WHERE DID I GO WRONG!

I seem to only have a good handful of friends, so I don't dare reveal those skeletons since I might lose the precious few that I do have. Their ignorance is my bliss! Your friends will love you more if they don't discover EVERYTHING about you! Too much information is way too dangerous! I am much easier to love if you don't know quite so much about me.

BC could reveal quite a few skeletons, but this is a two way street. We have mutually agreed to not share that information with others and tolerated the skeletons of the other. Marriage is based upon not just love but lots of tolerance!

SKELETONS- WHAT SKELETONS??????

I went to the massage terrorist today. The leg length discrepancy was 1 1/2 inch. NO WONDER MY LEG WAS IN A WAD! After an hour and a quarter of PURE TORTURE, I am lined back up. For the first time in almost two weeks I could tie my right shoe by pulling my leg up! I think it is all Babs' fault for making me run so fast! I had planned to work out today-but you know what they say about "good intentions"!

TRUE CONFESSION

Today's news had a blurb about an upcoming story concerning those that are using the internet to confess their transgressions and clear their conscience. Basically instead of confessing wrongs directly to those that have been wronged, the tort is confessed and sorrow is declared to the world wide web readers. It sounds like the Catholic practice of confessing sins to the priest who then states the penalty for those sins. Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe the Bible instructs to first go to the one that we have sinned against, declare your sin, ask forgiveness and repay those that you have wronged. After this act, you can go and ask forgiveness from God, but you do not pray for forgiveness unless you have atoned with the offended. The news story alluded to the fact that once sorrow has been declared to all the readers, that the wrong doer felt free to continue doing wrong. It sounds like an easy way to clear your conscience and then continue in your old ways. If you have to go to the one offended and make amends before confessing to the entire world, you probably are a lot less prone to continue with those wrongs. It is not easy to humble yourself and admit being wrong and in my mind, this would certainly discourage continued wrong doing. If I start confessing my sins on the internet, you might get worried. Either someone else is posting on my blog or I have fallen off the edge of the cliff.

We ran 5 miles this morning at the fastest rate that we have run in a LOOOONNNGGG time. Babs obviously ate her Wheaties this AM. I was huffing and puffing the entire time, but we finished. After the run, I was going to walk for a while with Sandra and ended up walking 5 miles. Maybe I had my Wheaties too! Our new running GPS'es are really neat. When the info is downloaded on the computer you can get all kind of information including pace, elevation, grade, rate per mile, and time to just name a few. REALLY COOL and unlike "Sweetie" this thing does not talk so no nasty "recalculating" just bells and chimes going off the entire run!

CALL ME INDISPENISBLE!

FRONT OF HOUSE

To Left of Front of House- Side Yard

Front Gate

Caroline Snacking in the Garage

Poppa Bob & Boys Jumping Away

Big Boys Chilling on the Back Deck

Father-Son BB-in Park Directly Behind House

WHO STOLE MY TEETH!

Little Man Coloring

We had a great weekend in Austin with the Conville part of the family (POOR JENNINGS IN THE FROZEN NORTH). It was a picture perfect weekend with cool, crisp nights, and warm cloudless days. Scott and family have gotten moved into their new home and we stayed in the "In-law Suite"(somebody's in-law for sure). The accomadations were better than the Holiday Inn and the company was WAY better. Short but wonderful visit and the perfect way to spend our Anniversary.

On the way home, we discovered that "Sweetie" cannot be totally relied upon. It turns out that "Sweetie" wants you to travel the most direct path, no matter what. Having worn a rut into the road between Ruston and Waco and Austin, we have tried all routes and come up with "THE BEST" of them. This does not necessarily mean the most direct path. "Sweetie" does not take into account 2 lane or 4 lane or needed stops along the way. It turns out that SOMEONE must be able to read a map and correct "Sweetie" occassionally. Being an expert at reading maps-that would be me! Now if you are trying to find an address that you have never been to in an unfamiliar town, well-"Sweetie" can get you there, but you shouldn't listen to her 100% of the time for sure. She got just a little aggravated with us when we proceeded on the path well worn. Over and over she would "Recalculate" and try to get us back on the path that she had chosen, but after a while-she finally would give up and then we would be back on track again. "Sweetie" definitely provides driving entertainment and will be indispenisble herself in certain circumstances, but nothing will ever take the place of the map reader and the human brain in coming up with the VERY BEST way possible. I am no longer feeling threatened-I AM NEEDED AFTER ALL!

Wonderful weekend and great visit-but as always-

"There's no place like home, Toto!"